To Forgive, Divine
by DragonsWillFly
Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione tries vainly to fall back into her peaceful existence that she had before the Second Wizarding War started. Everything seems to be getting better, until she stumbles upon a letter in a black envelope.


_**To Forgive, Divine**_

_**Author's Note: **This one-shot can be loosely considered a sequel to Where Once Was Light, Now Darkness Falls. _

Life after the Battle of Hogwarts was trying to say the least for the female member of the Golden Trio. Much to the dismay of Ron and Harry, Hermione decided that it would be best for her to try and complete her seventh year at Hogwarts. It wasn't because she wanted to... it was the fact that it would drive her absolutely mental if she did not finish her full term of school. Sure, she had been given first chance, just like the boys, for a job in the newer established departments within the Ministry. But, she declined; saying that it wouldn't be fair to others who have taken their N.E.W.T.S and passed, where all she did was aide Harry Potter in defeating Voldemort.

It was hard for her to be able to get into the swing of things this go around at the castle. Her mind constantly revolving around the deaths of the people she had known; but, even the most mundane things happened to impede her re-admittance into what would be deemed as normal wizarding society. These quotidian problems ranged from the loneliness she felt at not having her best mates along for the final year, to having to take classes with the students who were technically a year younger than her. It wasn't until late September that she finally got back into a habit that could have a semblance to her earlier years at the school. That is when she found the letter that would change how she viewed the world for the rest of her life.

* * *

It was late afternoon on a rainy September day when Hermione finally decided to go through her beaded bag that she had placed an Undetected Extension Charm on while they were on the run after Bill and Fleur's wedding was crashed. _'Bloody hell, I never realised how much I had packed in here before we left and how much I had placed in here during our travels.' _Hermione muses to herself as she pulls book after book out of the bag. _'You would think I had placed the whole library in this thing... and Potions storeroom as well. Wait... what's this?' _The brunette pulls out a solid black envelope, that had nestled its way between the pages of _Hogwarts, A History_, and inspects it closely. _'Strange, I do not remember putting that in there. And there is no indication on who it is from. I only assume it is for me though, since it was in my bag tucked away inside my book.' _Finding no other way to determine the sender of the letter, Hermione gently breaks open the seal, lifts the flap, and carefully pulls out a brittle piece of parchment. Glancing down at the bottom of the parchment, the witch's blood runs cold at the reveal of the letter's sender.

_Dearest Hermione,_

_If you are reading this, that means I am no longer alive. I had made sure that my house-elf promised me that if anything should happen to me, that this letter would reach you. I know I have not been someone that you would even consider wanting to receive correspondence from and I can understand with every fibre of my being as to why you would want to cast this into the fireplace the first chance you get. But I know that you are a very curious young woman, so I know that you would read this before you did anything so hasty as to burn the parchment. _

_I know that I do not deserve forgiveness for what I have done to you and I would be shocked if I was ever to be able to find out that you had forgiven me so quickly without any explanation. _

_So, here it goes- please do not judge me to harshly (even though I have given you plenty of reasons to)._

_I am sorry for what I have done to you in the past (Merlin, this is going to sound as if I am blaming it all on my upbringing, but perhaps it does have everything to do with it.)_

_As you know my parents were not the 'I will love you no matter what you do with your life' type, they were the 'My way or no way' type. Everything I did was to please them, even though there were a few things I did while at Hogwarts that they would have disowned me for. (I will go into that more further on in the letter.) Well, mostly everything. I received high marks in all my classes and watched out for my younger sisters because I wanted to not for their approval. I felt so confined that it felt as if my own skin were the shackles that held me prisoner. It drove me to tears every night thinking about how much my life was being ruled by them and their expectations. But, somehow I was able to carry on... though it seemed like I was tiptoeing every step of the way. _

_That was until I met her. She was in the same year as me, but a Gryffindor like you. Everything about her was beautiful and serene. I would have gladly said to hell with my whole family if I was able to spend eternity with her. The best part about it was that she felt the same way as I felt for her. We spent four years meeting in secret during our time at Hogwarts. That is until... he, came into the picture. He was always getting in the way. Trying to woo her, finding a way to always touch her shoulder, and worst of all trying (but failing) to make her, his. _

_I had enough of it. During my seventh year, the night before the end of term, I told him that she wanted to meet him at Black Lake at midnight. He positively beamed at my words, though he didn't realise until it was too late that it was all a lie. That was the first night I had ever used an Unforgivable Curse. I had yelled 'Crucio' until I felt my voice go hoarse. He stood up on shaky legs as I told him to back away from her. I thought that night I had finally won and that he would no longer bother her. But, I was wrong..._

_That was also the last night that she was mine. He Imperiused her and stole her away from me. I think that is when I finally snapped. Knowing that I would never be with my true love again, I finally agreed to one of my mother's inane marriage proposals to one of the elite pure-blood families. (Luckily for me, he felt the same way I did about the whole situation. Also, the fact that he was in love with another wizard made the marriage even more bearable.) _

_When I would see your friend Potter, or hear his name... I would feel the rage that had boiled over inside of me all those years before, swell in my chest and I would submit myself to its urgings. He looked so much like that damnable man, that I would have flashbacks to that day where I would see her lean against his arm or kiss his cheek in admiration. _

_His eyes though... that is what saved his scrawny arse more times than I can count. To hell with what the Dark-Lord had said about only He should kill the boy, I would have killed him in a second if he didn't have Lily's eyes._

_That is the reason I hurt you like I did, I really wish I didn't but it hurt me to see you in the presence of 'him'! I would have never laid a finger on you in anger if you just weren't friends with him. And the fact that you reminded me so much of her that it made my heart break. When I first met you in the Department of Mysteries, I knew you had a fire to you. It was like a wildfire coursing through my veins, awakening my heart to emotions that I had long-since thought had rotted away. My very life had meaning again. I wanted so desperately to see you after that first night but alas, fate is a cruel mistress. We were both on two different sides of an ongoing battle and we would have both been killed if either one of us were thought to have defaulted. So I had to play my part, keeping up with the charade of the unstable Death-Eater, who hated muggles. I guess since you are reading this now, it didn't work out for me, did it? _

_I know that after everything is said and done, what I have written has probably added up to shit for my behalf. But, I wanted you to know just the same... I regret everything that I had put you through during this time. I wish things had happened differently and maybe we could have gotten to know each other better, but we can never help what cards we are dealt in life. I just hope that with this note comes (if not forgiveness) at least an understanding that I never truly ever meant to harm you. _

_Yours,_

_Bellatrix Black_

* * *

Hermione stood stock still after reading the note that was gripped in her hand like a vise. Her mind going over everything she had read repeatedly, until she felt herself become sick with the repetition of her cerebration. Slumping down onto the feather mattress of her bed, the brunette's eyes began to spout forth tears stemming from the multitude of emotions that were flailing through her body like a jinxed broom. _'Why did she have to do this to me? What have I done to deserve this type of confession? Does she have to torment me still after she is gone and buried?' _The questions rambled on and on, some repeating themselves more than once. After the tears and the questions of frustration and blame had cleared away, Hermione started to think from a new perspective on the bit of parchment that she still clung to, as if her life was now held together by its mere existence. _'What if, this is nothing more than the baring of one's soul to another? She couldn't be making this stuff up,everything seems too accurate of what I had heard others say in regards to Bellatrix and her family. Even Draco, has let slip that his grandmum and dad were a bit too over the top when it came to blood purity.' _

Sighing deeply, Hermione clears her head for a few moments before rereading the letter. Nodding her head once she was finished, the brunette decided that once and for all that she believed the parchment to be nothing but the absolute and final truth from the heart of the late Bellatrix Black. A lone tear of grief slides down her cheek as she realises that she would never be able to know the witch for who she really was, not who she pretended to be. Casting her eyes towards the window of the bedchamber, Hermione stares out into the bleak, stormy skies and smiles softly. "I forgive you."


End file.
